Blessings

Thank you Lord for your Blessings on our Family!!!!

We are so thankful for baby Crimsyn.....We are so thankful that God has allowed us to be parents, I remember asking God to let me be a mother however he seen fit, that if there was a child out there that he would allow us to have that I would do my best to teach him the ways of the Lord to the very best of my ability, sometime I feel so unworthy to be the mother of these four wonderful children but I look back to that prayer I so diligently prayed for six and a half years, and I know without a doubt that God choose me and Michael and Carter, Caden, Resiana, and Crimsyn to be a family, and our children know that God put us together in a different way than most families but that they are special and loved beyond measure....When Carter was around two years old we began to talk about him being adopted and what that meant and we would tell him the story of how he came to be ours and he loved to hear me tell him about it and when it was nap time he would want to hear it again and again and through the years he understood more and more and seems very content in knowing that God had a plan for all of us... When you ask my children where they were born they usually say " In My Mama's Heart"

and that is exactly how I feel, they are the children of my heart, the love of their father and my life , we are so very thankful and could never praise God enough...



Crimsyn is doing wonderful!!!!! The kids are crazy about him, always wanting to help feed him or change him...They think he is the best thing in the world and so do we, I do not think he has been laid down more than three or four times in these past five days, we cannot get enough of him...We just want to shout it from the rooftops CRIMSYN IS HOME!!!!!!THANK YOU LORD!!!

The Journey

Well everyone we are so happy words cannot express......

The darkest hour is before the dawn.. The storm came and yes now we have "Our Rainbow"

Last week seemed to be the hardest week of our lives, I had never seen my strong unemotional husband so broken, and needless to say I am always emotional but the feelings I have experienced the last few weeks were beyond emotions that I understood, I felt myself slipping away and I did not want that, I wanted to be a good mother to the three children that were with me and to be a good servant to the Lord but I felt myself slipping into a state of mind that I could not hardly pull out of...Thursday of last week was our church night and Michael told me he just didnt know if he could do it, go and pretend things were ok, he had not been sleeping at night and it seemed he had the weight of the world on his shoulders,and to try and get up before a congergation of people and encourage them seemed impossible (but let me tell you the Lord helped him everytime) and he was there everytime....



Friday night we had a Gospel Singing and I was not even sure I would feel up to attending but I knew going was the right thing..During intermission Michael came up to me and asked me to come outside and said he recieved a phone call from the adoption co-ordinator and that the birthmother had contacted her and told her she wanted us to come and get the baby, just that simple... We were so excited but was still guarded.. We could not hardly sleep friday night due to the excitment but was still a little unsure, Saturday evening the birthmother called me herself and told me that she wanted us to have the baby more than anything.....


We arrived in Hawaii at 10pm and went straight to the co-ordiantors house and got the baby and the birthmother asked to stay the night with us, we brought her back to our hotel and spent the night and day with her, it was bitter sweet but wonderful...The birthmother told me once more of how God had brought us together.....Praise The Lord.....THIS IS OUR JOURNEY!!!!!!

Crimsyn is Home!!!!!! Praise the Lord

Crimsyn is home as of last night fixing to go surprise the church just like we surprised our family last night, details and photos later!!!!

Glory to God!!!!!!!

Thankful

Well I just read everyones thankful list and mine sounds pretty close to everyone else but I thought I would continue the cycle and tell you all a little of what I am so thankful for

I am thankful most of all that out of this big world The Lord choose me to be his servant...

I am thankful for my wonderful husband who is my hero, my best friend, my sounding board, my inspiration...

I am thankful for our "Journey" even when the days looked dark we know this is our jourey,
words cannot describe how thankful I am for the joy my children brings, the void they have filled in my life, the comfort they bring...

I am thankful for my Mother and Father who raised me to fear the Lord and put him first, and that being a Mother was the best thing in the world, and to know they love me unconditonaly...

I am thankful for the influence my Grandmothers had and still have in my life, and that I can truly say that Granny is one of my best friends and I love spending time with her...

I am thankful for my brothers, still trying to protect me.... I am thankful for my sister who makes me laugh and brightens my day..

I am thankful for my dear friends who are always there no matter what and know how to cheer me up..

I am thankful for my wonderful in-laws that I consider my second parents, and to know they love me like their own...

I am thankful for all my "Mama Crystal" babies who have brought so much joy to my life even though some of them are grown, they make my life more wonderful!!

I am thankful for my church family who suffers when we suffer and rejoices when we rejoyce...

I am thankful for my health, that the Lord has restored it unto me, and allows me to do the things I need to and more..

I am thankful for all the little things that are not so little...

I am thankful that my little Girl will have her first Christmas...

I am thankful for life !!!!! AND I Am so Thankful he brought our precious baby home!!!

Missing Crimsyn!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I sit here not knowing exactly what to do with myself, it seems the days drag on and the nights have no end...Michael and I were talking of how it seems it has been six months since we have seen our precious baby, when in reality it has been just a little over two weeks. Last week I felt so encouraged so spiritual, trusting and believing that there was a greater plan in the works, but somehow I have let that slip somewhat, yes I know that we are serving a wonderful and gracious God and he does everything just right, but I am finding myself slipping from that strong Hope I had just a few days ago, my every thought is consumed with Crimsyn and that spills over into mine and Michaels sleep, we both are waking at all hours thinking, talking, and crying about Crimsyn. His nursery is right off our bedroom(we had it built on when we found out we were "expecting') and I do find comfort in going into his room but I just do not know what to do with myself, these past two weeks have felt like an eternity..Michael is having a hard time with all of this to and he is always the spiritual one and the one who quotes scripture to make me feel better, but the reality we just dont know what the future holds and that is what scares me to death..I would like to think I was a good servant to the Lord, that I handle adversity in a christian way, but exactly how does the Lord want me to be, I am not sure...I have found myself not wanting to get out of the confines of our house, I went to Wal-Mart the other day but after about 10min, felt like I was about to have a break down so I left. I do not want the Lord to look at me and be disappointed, I just am not sure how to handle this, I have never experienced anything like this and I know alot of other people have and I sure do not want to be poor pitiful me, but I really have never experienced such a feeling of loss, when my Grandmother passed away it was so sad and hard but this is different, I feel like a shell of a human being, just going through the motions and trying to put on a smile on around my kids and tell them its going to be okay when in reality, I do not know what the future holds and I am scared, very scared, things that mattered so much a month ago I could care less about. It feels our little family circle has been broken, I want to hope and yes I still have hope, so much hope that I keep my cell phone right beside me even in the middle of the night just hoping maybe they will call and tell us to come bring Crimsyn home, but I feel so bad when I hear it ring and I look down and it is not them calling and sometimes I cannot make myself answer it, I just dont have any words to say sometimes..Ok I guess this is enough and I know I have said to much on here but I have wrote so much on paper to nobody my hand gets tired..Just trying to find a little relief, I do not want to be ungrateful for all I have in this life because I am truly thankful but we feel like a part of our hearts is still in hawaii..Take care everyone and enjoy holding your children tonight...

Hope

Well I did not have any intentions of posting anytime soon but this morning I was in such despair and my heart was hurting more than it seemed I could bare, and I decided to look at our blog and re-read our encouraging comments, never did I expect there to be more and what encouragement I would recieve...While reading Sis. Heather's comment and then Sis.Sherill's the realization sank in I have HOPE, hope our baby will come home, hope he will have food, hope he will have shelter, hope he will know the love of his Daddy and Mama...HOPE what a beautiful word today HOPE!!!!!!! I have been talking to Michael over these past several days and I would tell him that I did not understand why God did not just take Crimsyn to live with him, I know to some that may sound hard but to me it would mean safety and love, the thought of Crimsyn being hungry, dirty, cold, etc seemed more than my heart could take,but Michael would tell me he could not feel that way, that he was just going to hope, HOPE, yes we can hope...Thank you soo much for your encouragement , it amazes me how God uses his children to help one another...